Work in progress

I've been trying to find the right words to describe and sum up this year's RFKC. It was so drastically different from any other year that it feels a bit like a whole different game we just played. This is my 4th year to be involved with RFKC at TNL and my 2nd year on the leadership team, but definitely the most unique year. And it might boil down to this:

We're all a beautiful work in progress. It's a mantra that keeps coming to mind and something that I remind myself of in my daily life. It keeps me humble and keeps me seeing situations compassionately. It keeps me from being judgmental and keeps me from perfectionism. Mostly, it just keeps my expectations realistic. This is the theme that comes out when I think about this year's camp. I had the privelege of working with 34 other individuals who have a heart for loving on orphans and foster kids in Denver and we did it in the most human and honest way any of us knew how: by using our gifts and talents and passions to the best of our ability. It wasn't perfect or without its bumps in the road. I did and said plenty of things that maybe I shouldn't have... and my guess is that other people feel the same way. However, there is something very beautiful about a group of almost strangers coming together as a community for a specific purpose and offering grace and forgiveness when our "in progress" moments come out. Of course there are things that I would change about this year if i could....but I can't...and I'm so thankful for that. I'm thankful because it teaches me to trust God with my faults and failings. I'm thankful because in not being able to control everything (or anything) I can relax and just be myself, with all my imperfections and humanity and put my hope and faith in God to do the redemption in these kids' lives. I'm thankful because i get to trust this community in a much more deep and profound way. And hopefully, through all of this, the love and grace and forgiveness spill out into the lives of the kids we came together to care for in the first place.

I feel so blessed to be a part of this team and to know these 34 amazing people. God is doing big stuff among us and through us, and I'm so excited to see what the future holds!

Tiffani

Dean of Women, Leadership Team

Reflections on RFKC 2010

So, this was my third year of doing RFKC. As you would expect, every year is different and this was no exception. My first year was pretty straightforward and overall great experience. It was great just playing and loving kids and they were the usual problems of trying to herd elementary age boys in one direction.

Last year was alot bigger of a challenge. There were kids that had more recently gone through alot and thus were reacting(strongly!) out of dealing with all the pain. For the most part, our room was not that hard. However, having campers on edge all around you raises the stress level of the whole camp. It is definitely one of those experiences that draws you closer to everyone else you are working with in a very unique way.

So, I went into camp this year sort of braced for the worst. Also, with having had some of the kids before(including one that I had the toughest time with last year), I was fully expecting this year to be tough. We start camp and realize that it will definitely be different.

Our room was definitely a difficult one(probably the most difficult one). As Jarred mentioned below, we definitely had 3 very alpha male boys that started hitting heads from the very start. However, the rest of camp was fairly at peace. Plus, with having alot more extra staff this year it made it alot less stressful.

However, as the week went on it felt like I had emotionally checked out. As far as I can tell there are 4 potential reasons that may have contributed to this.

1. With camp being more peaceful, I didn't have to be completely in the moment in order to survive.


2. I'd braced myself for the worse which meant that partly for my protection I was holding back from engaging with the kids.


3. I knew the pain that was coming on Friday when you remove yourself from your awesome community of co-laborers and from doing something meaningful for a week into the hum-drumness of life.


4. My relationship with God wasn't where it should have been, and I didn't make the effort to make it right before camp started.

So, it pretty much was that way all through camp until we get to Thursday night. Thursday night is when we had one of our kids totally explode. So, one of the after effects of that explosion, is one of our other kids just crying and chanting over and over "It's all my fault". Now this kid is one of the sweetest kids you'll have ever met. When we were playing Disc golf he volunteered to go last on every hole while the other kids were fighting about who would go first. He was always looking out for the other kids and even us counselors and continued to show love towards everyone. So, it just totally tore down the walls that I had built up seeing this kid beating himself up for something that wasn't his fault at all. I probably talked with him for 30 minutes trying to get him calmed down and to reassure him that it wasn't his fault and that he had been a joy to have in my cabin all week. That he was one of the most kind-hearted giving kids I've ever known. It is amazing the lies that we can believe about our self that are not true. After finally being able to talk with him about the good fun stuff we had been doing all week he finally was able to calm down and go to sleep.

That next day was a bit stressful having to deal with the results of the previous night. However, it pretty much went as well as can be expected. So, we get to our final event to get on the bus, "Have You Ever" and I get another opportunity to get my walls torn down.

My personality is such that I'm a bit more reserved. That plays out in alot of different ways. However at camp working with kids it can make it a bit more difficult. I don't have one of those personalities where kids are naturally drawn towards me. Also, I tend to be the one trying to keep kids behaving and on task so I'm the one yelling out, "5 minutes until we have to leave". So, that means that the kids usually gravitate towards my co-counselor this year Jarred(same as last year). I think it actually works out quite well for the kids since Jarred and I compliment each other pretty well and I feel like we work well together. However, it can be a bit hard emotionally. Esp. when you have kids insulting. Even though you are told to not take such things personally since the kids are just reacting out of their pain or from being told what to do it still is no fun.

So, back to "Have You Ever". So, after a point in the game where all the kids have left behind all the counselors Bas has the kids run back to their counselors. Jarred and I were separated a bit at this time so 3 of the kids go and run to Jarred. The other kid(the one that had been thinking it was all his fault) ran over to me. He then asked me why didn't anyone else run over to me and then made some sort of affirming statement about how he was glad that I was his counselor. And it just broke me with thankfulness that at least one of the kids appreciated me.

I love doing camp every year. In fact, I'm planning on doing it every year as long as TNL has camp for 3 reasons:

1. It is a great opportunity to show God's love to the least of these.


2. It is a great opportunity to build community with a group of people that you can rely on and trust and have a common vision.


3. It is a great opportunity for God to show you more of Himself and more of yourself.

Matt

After My Fourth

This was my fourth year at RFKC, three years as a counselor and this year as camp photographer. None of them have been the same. Yet at the end I always experience the same empty feeling. As I have pondered, meditated, and prayed over that feeling; I have come to a realization/revelation.

There is a period of months spent forming, building a team of people; a team with one goal, one passion before them. Then camp comes, the furnace that burns away all of our impurities. I say that because it is a trying experience to love on these kids, and not necessarily because these children are unlovable. Quite the contrary, actually; these kids are so easy to love it hurts. We pour all that we can and more into these kids, but we are all plagued by the same frustration. We want to do more; much more.

At camp as a team we empty ourselves collectively into these kids; we can lean on each other for support, for comfort, for strength. I don’t know exactly what makes it so intense, but my weeks at RFKC are the most intense things I have done. That is why I say that week is like a furnace. You will either get stronger as a person and a piece of the community, or you will get burned out. I am thankful that God has given me the heart to be a part of this wonderful event year after year.

Even so I am still left with feelings of emptiness and loneliness at the end of the week. I know it comes from being so tight with so many, through all that we experience for that length of time; and then coming home, away from that community. Am I sad, absolutely. But I am also truly joyful for what I have helped do this past week. Despite my aching heart, I know that God is smiling and proud of me, of all of us that went.

Nate

A/V, Photographer

Everybody's Birthday

Tonight after dinner, the children got a special surprise! The counselors and staff all walked in with cupcakes lit with sparkler candles and singing "Happy Birthday". The children's faces were exuberant in anticipation of eating their cupcakes and each child was clearly moved by the singing.

Afterword, the children were led into the chapel that had been decorated especially for their party. Each table was strewn with glitter and each child had a personal crown that had been sewn especially for them. Balloons hung prolifically from the ceiling. As the children entered, there were many oooh's and ahh's and excitement could definitely be felt in the air. "Grandma" and "Grandpa" were seated in the corner with presents for each child to open. To watch the children open these boxes of presents, was to watch the very definition of thankfulness. I was reminded of the resiliency and simplicity of childhood. When your a child, the smallest of gestures brings a smile to your face.

There were many activities at the party, face - painting, three - legged races, football... The children were VERY creative with their faces. We were asked for everything from a sun and moon, to Darth Maul and "Scream". Many of the boys disappeared behind camo paint.

I've become quite close to a few of the children and it amazes me to see God's work throughout both the camp and their lives. I will never forget how unafraid these children are. During worship time, the children don't hesitate to get up and dance, howl, clap, sway and just express their general happiness through their bodies and the music. I'm here to show God's love to these children and just facilitate their having a good time, but I feel like the one who is being taught. - Kristen, general staff

Tuesday Night

I often spend Tuesday night listening to a band and a speaker. Being with a community that spends time singing and learning together is a natural rhythm in my week. But last night was a bit different.
The lesson by Patric included a game of human checkers and wrapping people in tinfoil. The band was JayJ Mattot and Dan Garza who inspired howling by the children during the songs and concluded with all of the kids holding hands and swaying to the music. They were delighted to meet the band and get thier autographs on posters.
At the end of the night I stepped outside and watched the sunset for a moment before going off to a leadership meeting. It was a good Tuesday night. I am grateful and humbled to be a part of a community that gives itself for the sake of these children.
Grace and peace to you.
Jared 'Uncle Mac' Mackey

Sweet sweet little girls....

This is my first year at camp and so far it has been A-mazing:) These kids are so absolutely precious!!! The girls in my room have done so many good things for my heart already I cannot wait for whats to come. The girls have been so brave each day and tried new things outside of their comfort zone. They all encourage eachother and love to be helpful. Last night we had the band JJ Matott and the Arctic come and play for the kids and that was the moment where I felt like one connected family with this camp. The band LOVED their audience and the girls were INSTANT fans and our girls already have the signed posters on their walls:) As we were leaving one girl said "the only thing that would make this night better is if the band had a CD for them to listen too....ahhhh SO cute! So all in all pretty much the best week ever and I won't be coming home;)

~Jess

A Brief Photo Update