This was my fourth year at RFKC, three years as a counselor and this year as camp photographer. None of them have been the same. Yet at the end I always experience the same empty feeling. As I have pondered, meditated, and prayed over that feeling; I have come to a realization/revelation.
There is a period of months spent forming, building a team of people; a team with one goal, one passion before them. Then camp comes, the furnace that burns away all of our impurities. I say that because it is a trying experience to love on these kids, and not necessarily because these children are unlovable. Quite the contrary, actually; these kids are so easy to love it hurts. We pour all that we can and more into these kids, but we are all plagued by the same frustration. We want to do more; much more.
At camp as a team we empty ourselves collectively into these kids; we can lean on each other for support, for comfort, for strength. I don’t know exactly what makes it so intense, but my weeks at RFKC are the most intense things I have done. That is why I say that week is like a furnace. You will either get stronger as a person and a piece of the community, or you will get burned out. I am thankful that God has given me the heart to be a part of this wonderful event year after year.
Even so I am still left with feelings of emptiness and loneliness at the end of the week. I know it comes from being so tight with so many, through all that we experience for that length of time; and then coming home, away from that community. Am I sad, absolutely. But I am also truly joyful for what I have helped do this past week. Despite my aching heart, I know that God is smiling and proud of me, of all of us that went.
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